Deal with the Devil

Well, it has happened.  I have sold my soul - at least a part of it - to the Devil.  

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will tell you what I did in a moment but I am guessing the types of thoughts that are being generated right now include but are not limited to:

What took you so long? 
What's the big deal? (otherwise known as BFD) 
This is your first time?  Really?
What part did you sell?
What did you do?
What did he give you?
Who cares?  
Just tell us what happened (that would be Sister's choice).

Here's the scene.  We are out with the kids at our local organic Mexican-ish restaurant.  I am at the head of the table, with a kidling on either side, Johnny is one kidling away.  It is a long L-shaped table full of adults who are eating and drinking and joining and the group and chatting away.  Dinner was a little bit later than usual which means that we were all hungrier than usual.

Now, the restaurant is known not just for its healthy tacos but also for its homemade ice creams, which, no surprise, the kids love, especially the coffee flavor.

So here come the chips and salsa and here comes the guacamole down the table, and we all four set ourselves to the task of placing chips into our mouths, one after the other, one after the other.  There came a point very shortly after this when I realized, If we don't stop and/or slow down, we will not eat our dinners.  So we pushed everything aside and waited for the kids' quesadilla that they split in half, my salad, and Johnny's fish tacos.  

We then commence to eating our dinners and I notice the kids starting to slow down surprisingly soon - I think they were nearing the end of their first wedge of quesadilla and I thought, uh-oh, they aren't going to get any ice cream if they don't eat more of their dinner.  One bite later and they had both come to a screeching halt, each with another triangle of quesadilla still on their plates.  

Turns out I had eaten my salad topped with beef and realized I was still pretty hungry, and Johnny was immersed in his tacos and conversation in the other direction.

Assessing the situation, I looked at Anthony's plate on my right, Cella's plate on my left, the back of Johnny's head and said to Anthony, "If I eat your quesadilla your dad will let you get ice cream."

I know.  I know.  There you have it.  It was so easy.  You can imagine Anthony's reaction, as this kind of interaction was unprecedented in our Stepmonster - Stepson relationship until that moment.  There was a nanosecond of a pause as he quickly put all the pieces of the puzzle, then he reached out and pushed his plate towards me.  

I then turned to Cella and told her the same thing, this time in a much more conspiratorial tone of voice and (I have to admit) a bit of a smirk.  As I alternated bites between each of their plates I thought, That was so easy.  And harmless (right?) and kind of fun.  Kind of a win-win-win situation, depending on how you look at it.  Well, if you look at it from the perspective of myself, Anthony or Marcella - haha.

A few moments later Johnny turns around and asks, Who wants ice cream?  Writing it like that makes me feel like I should feel a little guilty but I really didn't then I don't now.  

I have a good friend in Hawaii who did some work with kids from high school who had just graduated and did some community projects in the South Pacific and he told us about taking a few moments to have a cigarette with the kids from time to time and how it had the effect of building trust between them.  He doesn't really smoke but he was savvy enough to predict the value in that tiny investment in the relationship he had with them, a small investment and a potentially large reward in their perception of him, all because of that shared moment.

I have thought about that since I have been step-parenting and because I have a tendency towards order and rules I have been actively looking for opportunities to break away from that a little and form deeper alliances with the kids from time to time.  I have to admit, it was kind of fun, almost like I was the one breaking the house rules, which I have been known to do in my younger days.

So anyway, speaking of the South Pacific, that Michener book was as I suspected - war stories - (yuck) but I am going to soldier (haha) through it and get on to another Pulitzer "winner."  I took a minor detour and read "Gone Girl" in a couple if days - shallow page turner with a lame ending, but bizarrely fun to read, and I am still willingly wallowing through "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer.  I cannot say enough about that book.  It has the capacity to change your life forever.  Completely alter the way you think.  Period.  If you have any questions about meditation or yoga or why your mind works the way it does, get this short book, take your time, and do what it says.  It is the kind of book I will keep by my bedside and read it if I am having a challenging day or moment or relationship or whatever.  It is the kind of book I want to buy and give to everyone I know and actually force some people to read.  It is a gem the way The Power of Now is a gem.

I guess that's it - dealings with the devil and enlightenment in paperback.  Oh, and snow :)  We are getting some.