The Jukebox and the Damage Done

Well, I am going on Day 3 of being mute. No kidding. Remember my speedy recovery from the searing lava tube in my throat? Well, I rested all day Friday, drank tons of broths and teas and elixers and protein and lay around and fiddled with my laptop and organized all my music files on my external hard drive and finished a book and started another.... BK is leaving Telluride and he wanted us to go out for a bit in the evening. I used to work with his sis back in the Powderhouse Restaurant days and I had yet to be out and about so I drank a latte at Rustico (two, actually, as 8 :17 seems to be my bedtime) and sipped on soda water with lime for a couple of hours at the Buck, visiting with old friends and reveling in my return to town. I was home by midnight, ate a quesadilla and banana bread with CoCo (who had been guzzling this espresso vodka for chrissakes) and slipped into a sweet sweet slumber. I felt ok about it.

Here's the part that my larynx did not feel ok about: the goddamn music was so loud it turns out what I actually did was spend 3 hours yelling and screaming at people. Literally. When Monica finally yawned we knew we were off the hook for staying out as long as she wanted, so CoCo and I headed out with B, my friend who lives above and manages a local restaurant. Now, I have known B for 8 or 9 years and I have seen him exclusively on foot, bike or skis. That's it. So when we left the Buck and he offered to take us home, my first words were: You know how to drive? I seemed to be the only one who found such hilarity in it, but come on, he lives 2 blocks away and he NEVER drives ANYwhere. We were stoked because CoCo had chosen to wear some "come hither" boots that had less than zero traction and we had 8 blocks or so to walk home. So we both squeeze into the front seat, as there was something bundled in the back seat that looked like when you wrap up a dolphin and move it from one sea park to another and then--get this--he gets in and starts scrabbling at the frost on the INSIDE of his windshield with the edge of something plastic and fragile but doesn't turn the car on. He wants the windshield to defrost but he doesn't turn the car on. Which I pointed out. He then drove us home, peering through a clawed out hole the size of a turnip, asking us occasionally, Do you see anything over there? meaning our side of the car. All I saw were snowbanks. He did have to tell us to shut the hell up because we were arguing over the fact that CoCo said someone was "body languaging" someone else to which I (of course) pointed out that that is not a verb. She felt that due to the hour of day and frigidity of the seat and the style of vodka she had chosen, that she should be exempt from normal, day-to-day grammatical guidelines. I clearly disagreed. All this with the occasional Now do you see anything over there? from B as we slid a few blocks closer to our home.

My throat was killing me when we made quesadillas and I took 2 advil at night and when I awakened and took 2 more I knew the damage had been done. That was Saturday morning. It is now Monday afternoon and I am offcially, as they say, over it.

Now you all know that I am deathly afraid of unidimensionality in humans, particularly the one typing this. And even though it might seem like it, I do not subscribe to the quasi-religion of Everything Happens For A Reason. I do, however, believe that you can find meaning in most events and that what seems like obstacles usually turn out to be opportunities and gifts IF you are open to receiving them. I also should go ahead and fess up now that even though I am extraordinarily resistant to anything associated with angels, I have grown to believe that we do, infact, have spirit guides that facilitating these veiled gifts and opportunities. IF I believe that, then what am I being given? My days have been silent, introspective, calm. I cannot go skiing, cannot teach yoga, cannot speak with friends, can't really go into town because I will see tons of people I know. I am pretty much house-bound. But you know how crazy my thinking is? I start to think about a ski accident I would have had if I had been skiing all weekend. Or the fact that now that I can't teach yoga, I really really want to. And all the bills and office stuff I have taken care of that was already way overdue. Or the fact that I forced myself out of the house for a walk and ran into someone I have had a crush on for forEVER that perhaps I would not have otherwise seen so soon. Or the fact that I had put off writing up some intentions for 2009 and I needed to clarify them before I made too many more decisions that affect my future. So so you see? There is no one reason why this happened. I just don't buy that. And maybe none of those reasons is why I am mute for 3 days. But I can certainly find all sorts of avenues to entertain my mind as to possibilities of what I can gain out of this time. And that comes down to faith and acceptance and being open to every experience I have. Is it maddening? AbsoLUTEly. Am I being robbed of days to becoming and expert skier? YES! Do I feel like I am losing out on valuable days here this winter? You betcha. But I am also curious to see what more is in store for me.

Maybe a whole lot of nothing. Maybe I just got sick.