I've Come Unraveled

Well, I know some of you may have been worried, but I managed to survive my 4 days of pay-per-view, room service, naps and sponge baths at the JW Marriott at Ko'Olina . It really was the key to my speedy healing process. That and the care of my ever-attentive friend, Matilda:

That's her on the left, ever radiant, several glasses of champagne away from a sunset, and me on the right, beginning my soft, slow descent into the evening and its respective slumber. Of all the Marriott brands, JW is their top-rated hotel, and this one is delightful for several reasons, but mostly because the location is about 30 minutes west of Honolulu, poised atop a disturbingly perfect man-made scalloped shore. We may have been the only ones there who were not honeymooners or Japanese.

I was the only mummy:

My 24 hours of getting approached by men came to a sudden and dramatic halt--it turns out Japanese men and 22-year old husbands having near-constant sex with the love of their lives are not distracted by the blond girl in pain. What the hell? Had I been more creative, I could have staged a "tumble" down the cascading staircase, towards the shark pools that surround the eating pavilion:

There are also giant black rays that swim around in other pools you can gaze at as you sunbathe nude on your lanai, ensconsed in hospital dressings.

It was great--every morning Matilda would tip-tap upon my door, then let herself in with my room key, "How are you, sweetie?" as she sets my latte on the bedside table and flings open the slider and the shades. We would chat for a few minutes and then off she would go, like a little hummingbird on ecstasy, flitting about the resort until darkness fell. She got to be a mom again for a few days. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. The rooms there are great, with the bathrooms almost equal in size to your sleeping quarters, as they say.

I have to make a plug for the Straub Clinic and Dr. Wong in the Vascular Department in Honolulu. They were superb. I felt cared for and confident about my procedure from the get-go and my speedy recovery was due in large part to his skill and their care. I have one less painful, bulging vein in my left leg--perhaps now I can get my foot behind my head? I will keep you posted on THAT!

But I am back on boring old Maui now, still not active enough for exercise, but when I unwrapped my leg from the 17 feet of gauze and ace bandages, I was tickled with myself and Dr. Wong to see that I suffered no bruising, just little healed-over incisions and some soreness. I will share one last sunset shot from Oahu, just to remind myself how incredible it is here.

Heavenly Honolulu!

I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think Oahu as a whole, Honolulu and especially Waikiki are somewhat underrated these days! Maybe it's because I spend all my time on Maui, which seems to have grown progressively quieter since I moved there in '02, but coming over to the big city is so much fun!



Let's remove the two obvious major drawbacks of snarled and persistent traffic, and inevitable crime, and look at how cool it is to be in a major U.S. city where you can sit on a park bench next to a dozing "camper" (homeless here in the islands), watching surfers paddle out into the numerous shore breaks, drinking your Starbucks as runners pant past you, girls in bikinis carry their surfboards past Gucci and Chanel, petite Asian girls tiptoe by in glittery heels huge sunglasses and miniature dogs on rhinestone-studded leashes, barges the size of city blocks glide into the harbor to unload pretty much everything that built pretty much everything around you, sunburned tourists from Ohio lumber onto the sand with spray-on sunscreen and--here is the clincher--this is all done, all day, every day with a climate that is remarkable consistent and perfectly delightful: clear and sunny with light trade winds and temperatures around 85 degrees. I love Waikiki!!

I am here at the Waikiki Beach Marriott:

and that is the view from my room, looking west. I am going to take a few lines here to expres just how much I have loved working for this company! Not only do they give us the best room rates, they actually ENCOURAGE it, even for our friends and family. And in the few short years I have worked for Marriott, I have to admit I have grown quite fond of staying in really nice rooms at really nice resorts for really small amounts of money. Equally as nice is staying in some really inexpensive Marriotts, for really really small amounts of money. Leaving the Marriott may have been the most difficult aspect of leaving Maui. I have a fantastic job and I work for a fantastic company. The people are unrivalled, even our bosses are cool! But that's enough about that.

I came here for SURGERY. It all went quite well, actually. I have had some hideous and painful varicose veins in my leg that I finally decided to eliminate. I figured if I was going to be on Oahu, why not use the benefits Marriott extends to me and relax around some luxurious pools for a few days while I recover? My leg is in a gigantic bandage that has draws more attention from men in the past 24 hours than I have received in the past 24 months. No kidding. Now I understand why Ted Bundy was so successful in luring women into his handcuff-equipped VW bug. Is this all it takes? All I have to do is appear to be in pain, helpless, pitiful and needy? Are you fucking kidding me? Wow.

This is it:

That is my left leg, propped up on a pillow, toes blissfully floating in a cloud of morphine and darvoset! It ain't all that bad after all...