Upstaged

Yesterday I held an infant for the first time. I know, I know you can all close your mouths now. She is less than a week old and fits perfectly in the space from my fingertips to my elbows, her warm little head and dark silky hair cupped in my palms and her little feet and bottom curled up in the crook of my arms. I stopped by to see A and M and their new daughter, they live just up the hill, who was born on inauguration day while myself, M, KJ and E dined at the Adobe Inn in Ridgway--part lodging, part restaurant with the best--the best corn casserole you could ever want to eat. I guess they are super secretive about their recipe but I can tell you this: the three most prominent flavors are, in no particular order, butter, corn and sugar. I don't think they have a website but you can click here to read a review if you like. At the end of our meal we asked a gentleman who possesses not one word of the English language to take our photo in front of the crackling fireplace and huge aloe plants. Having failed the task we then waited until he wandered away and asked our server if she would help us out and even with a full command of our native tongue, it was apparently a mind-boggling task that resulted in a single conclusion: they must not have cameras in these parts. Picture #1, as you will see below, is ok, we all look happy and smiling, it's a bit too far away, but look closely--and I give you permission here--look closely between my legs.

What the hell IS that? Like some kind of camel toe gone camel tail, a trick of the light for sure. So we had another go round of it and came up with the perfect Girl's Night Out In A Town 45 Minutes Away Because KJ Left Her Son's Backpack At Another Restaurant And Had To Pick It Up So Let's Make A Night Of It And Call Erika Because She Lives There And We Don't Get To See Her Very Often Photo:

While we were dining and laughing over old stories, especially about the antics of Chilly B, A was in Junction trying to get this darling little girl out and into my arms, ultimately. When they asked if I wanted to hold her, I of course responded, a little too casually I might add, "I've never held a baby before," there was moment of silence and then a bustling around, a changing of the seats, and then I am positioned on the couch, hoping she will open her eyes and look, or better yet, smile at me! No, I never babysat and I was in Hawaii for the first year of Ella's life so this was truly the first time I got to experience this and I will admit, it was rather intoxicating. Plus A and M are super blissed out, her mom is there cooking a roast and the house is full of warm homey aromas while the snow drifts down and the temperature decides to hang out right around zero outside. I was ready to move in!

But I didn't, I skated down the street and came home to a delayed Robe Time and then the sudden and shocking news that an acquaintance and neighbor had spent the day deliberately and literally watching the life run out of her before calling the paramedics at what may have been the last possible moment. What a contrast. One minute I am basking the radiance of new life, of possibility and growth and hope and the next we are watching someone hauled out of a locked and darkened room whose expectations of life had suddenly dimmed to barely a glow. Someone whose world had cinched in to include no one but herself and her cat. And just up the hill the bubbly parents are almost having to turn away friends and family from visiting, just so they can have some time with themselves to rest and enjoy their nrew daughter.

And just that same day in yoga, as we turned from Corpse Pose into the Fetal Position, I commented on the continuation of life into death, death into life, the two linked by a shadow, never separate, constantly renewing each other, urging first one and then the other into the spotlight, sharing the stage. The contrast, the union, the light and shadow, the interplay of different experiences of consciousness.